The most accurate rendition of a kid’s homemade book ever. Including drawing a barcode on the back which I did for all the books and cards I drew as a kid.
Texans be like “Oh you’re struggling with the effects of climate change? Well my state is a sometimes-frozen sometimes-boiling wasteland that’s less than a decade from being uninhabitable if current trends hold. Now watch as my privatized power company extorts me for my life savings.”
I truly love living here, and it hurts to watch the GOP throw the planet away. Texas is beautiful. Texas weather has been my passion since I was a kid. But sometime in the next few years, me and my boyfriend will be returning to his home state up north. I think my heart will break when that happens. Fuck anyone who stands in the way of climate change action. Fuck them endlessly with the cacti that will soon be the only plant that can survive here.
Greg Abbott can’t wait to die and burn in hell so he makes sure he can have the experience here on Earth.
so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.
HE GONE.
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.
What a way to learn you have a Vampire in the family.
